A woman I coached a few years ago had left a secure job in marketing and was starting her own consulting company. She only had a certain amount of time to get this new business making enough money before she was dipping into her savings. She’s a single Mom to two little girls. She was giving it everything and also feeling anxious and burning out.
In one of our coaching calls, she came to the realization that she would treat an employee better than she was treating herself. If an employee was sick, she would tell them to stay home or take the afternoon off. She would encourage people who worked for her to drink water and take breaks throughout the day to get outside for a walk. Why wasn't she doing this for herself? She needed to treat herself like she was her own employee. She realized she needed to show herself the same kindness and consideration that she would show anyone else.
You know the Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you”.
Flip it.
“Do unto yourself as you would do unto others.”.
We often treat ourselves so harshly, we hold ourselves to high expectations and are critical when we fall short of those expectations. We wouldn't treat others this way.
What are the words you find yourself saying to others that you also need to hear?
What are the actions you do for others that you would also benefit from?
I've had many times in my life when my kitchen is full of kids wanting to be fed. I’m happily cooking pancakes or grilled cheese sandwiches for my kids and their friends and whoever else is around. I’ll tidy up, get on with the day, and then a half-hour later realize I’m hungry. I didn't eat. After all that cooking and cleaning - I didn't eat! I was around the food and maybe nibbled some things as it passed in front of me but in the midst of feeding everyone else, I didn't feed myself.
A small example but, eye-opening as well. It illustrates how we can take care of others at the expense of ourselves.
Kindness isn’t something that is just for others, it also for us! We can be the receivers of our own kindness, compassion and mercy. I encourage you to meet your own needs and give yourself some honest time and loving attention to time to feed your own body, heart and mind.
Your kindness and compassion needs to also include You! Soften. Breathe. Say some sweet things to yourself. The world can be a crazy hard place, go easy on yourself.